Sarcasm Was Not Invited

SCENE 1: THE MASQUERADE

(The Living Room. Expensive porcelain cups clink. Padmini is pouring tea with exaggerated elegance. Neena is inspecting a cushion. Harish is drinking whiskey, ignoring the tea. Nitin sits in the corner, scrolling on his phone. Aman stands by the window.)

Mrs. Padmini: Neena darling, this tea is from the First Flush of Darjeeling. It costs more than my driver’s salary. Do try it.

Mrs. Neena: (Sipping tiny sip) Exquisite, Padmini. Though it has a slight... aftertaste. Is it organic? Or did the pesticide slip in?

Mrs. Padmini: (Smiling tight) Organic, of course. Unlike your Botox, darling.

(Neena laughs, a high-pitched, fake sound.)

Mr. Harish: (Loudly) Ah, the sweet sound of rich people insulting each other. Music to my ears. Padmini, do you have something stronger than leaf water? This whiskey tastes like it was brewed in a bathtub.

Mrs. Padmini: It is Single Malt, Harish. Maybe your palate has forgotten quality since your... business troubles?

Mr. Harish: (Stiffening) My business is restructuring. It’s a strategy.

Mr. Nitin: (Without looking up) Is "bankruptcy" a strategy now? I must update my dictionary.

Mr. Harish: Watch it, writer boy. At least I built something. You just criticize what others build.

Miss Isha: (Intervening gently) Harish, Nitin wasn't attacking you. He was attacking the euphemism. We all use words to hide reality, don't we?

Mrs. Neena: Oh god. The shrink is here. Isha, please don't analyze us. We are just having fun.

Miss Isha: Are we? You all look miserable.

(Silence. Padmini drops a spoon.)

Mrs. Padmini: Isha! That is rude. We are having a lovely time. Aman, say something. You are so quiet.

Mr. Aman: (Turning from window) The view is nice. You can see the slum from here. It adds perspective.

Mrs. Neena: (Disgusted) Ugh. I told the builder to put up a screen. It ruins the aesthetic.

Mr. Nitin: Yes, poverty is such an eyesore. If only poor people were invisible, our tea would taste sweeter, right Neena?

Mrs. Neena: You are always so negative, Nitin. Why did you come if you hate us?

Mr. Nitin: I came for the sandwiches. And the theater. Watching you all pretend to like each other is better than Netflix.

(Lights fade.)

SCENE 2: THE SMOKE SCREEN

(The Balcony. Night. Nitin is smoking. Isha joins him.)

Miss Isha: You are pushing them.

Mr. Nitin: They deserve it. Look at them. Padmini hates Neena, but invites her because Neena is on the Club Committee. Harish hates everyone because he’s broke. And Neena hates herself. It’s a snake pit.

Miss Isha: And you? Who do you hate?

Mr. Nitin: I hate the hypocrisy. "First Flush Darjeeling." "Restructuring." Why can't anyone just say, "I’m scared"?

Miss Isha: Because vulnerability is expensive, Nitin. Sarcasm is cheap. You use it too.

Mr. Nitin: I use it as a weapon. They use it as a shield.

Miss Isha: It’s the same thing. You are hiding too. You act superior so you don't have to connect. If you really hated them, you would leave. You stay because you are lonely.

(Nitin looks at her sharply. He throws his cigarette away.)

Mr. Nitin: Psychoanalyze someone else, Isha. I’m just the observer.

Miss Isha: The observer is part of the experiment. Harish is hurting. He lost his factory last week. Did you know that?

Mr. Nitin: No.

Miss Isha: Because you were too busy making a clever joke about bankruptcy. Sarcasm cuts, Nitin. Sometimes it cuts people who are already bleeding.

(Nitin stays silent. He looks inside the glass door at Harish, who is pouring another drink with a shaking hand.)

(Lights fade.)

SCENE 3: THE BREAKDOWN

(The Dining Table. Dinner is served. The atmosphere is toxic. Harish is drunk.)

Mrs. Padmini: The Risotto is a bit dry. I must fire the cook.

Mr. Harish: Fire him. You fire everyone, Padmini. You fired your husband last year. Oh wait, he left you. My mistake.

(Padmini freezes. The room goes deadly silent.)

Mrs. Neena: Harish! That is too far.

Mr. Harish: Is it? We are sharing truths, right? Neena, how is your son? The one in "boarding school"? Or is he in rehab again?

Mrs. Neena: (Standing up, trembling) How dare you!

Mr. Harish: (Laughing bitterly) Look at us! The elite! The successful! One divorced, one bankrupt, one with a junkie son. And we sit here eating Risotto and talking about tea leaves!

Mr. Nitin: Harish, stop. You’re drunk.

Mr. Harish: And you! Mr. Writer! You think you are better than us? You write books about "human connection" but you haven't had a real relationship in five years! You mock us because you are terrified of becoming us!

(Nitin stands up. He wants to retort. He has a perfect, sarcastic comeback ready. But he looks at Harish’s tear-stained face. He remembers Isha’s words.)

Mr. Nitin: (Quietly) You’re right.

(Everyone looks at Nitin. They expected a fight.)

Mr. Harish: What?

Mr. Nitin: You’re right. I am terrified. I am lonely. And I use jokes to hide it.

(The honesty hangs in the air. It disarms Harish completely. He slumps into his chair.)

Mr. Harish: (Whispering) I lost the factory. Everything. I have 500 rupees in my pocket. I came here for the free whiskey.

Mrs. Padmini: (Softly) Oh, Harish. Why didn't you say?

Mr. Harish: Because we don't say those things here, Padmini. We say "Restructuring."

(Padmini looks at her guests. She looks at the expensive food. She looks at Aman, who is quietly eating.)

Mrs. Padmini: Aman? You haven't spoken. What do you see?

Mr. Aman: (Wiping his mouth) I see people who are tired of acting.

(Padmini nods. She picks up the bowl of Risotto.)

Mrs. Padmini: Ideally, I would serve this with truffle oil. But honestly... I ordered it from a restaurant. I can't cook. And my husband didn't leave me. I kicked him out because he hit me.

(Neena gasps. She sits back down.)

Mrs. Neena: My son... is in rehab. It’s his third time. I’m scared he won't make it.

(Silence. But not an awkward silence. A heavy, real silence.)

(Lights fade.)

SCENE 4: THE MORNING AFTER

(The Living Room. Late night. The pretense is gone. Shoes are off. They are drinking tea (normal tea bags).)

Mr. Nitin: So, we are a mess.

Miss Isha: A beautiful mess.

Mr. Harish: (Sobering up) I’m sorry, Neena. About your son.

Mrs. Neena: It’s okay, Harish. I’m sorry about your factory. Can... can we help? I know a lawyer.

Mr. Harish: I can't pay him.

Mr. Nitin: I’ll pay him. I sold my book rights last month. I have cash.

Mr. Harish: (Suspicious) Is this sarcasm?

Mr. Nitin: No. It’s a royalty check. Take it. Consider it a loan. Pay me back when you restructure. For real this time.

(Harish looks at Nitin. He nods, unable to speak.)

Mrs. Padmini: Well. This was... the worst dinner party I have ever hosted.

Mr. Aman: And the best.

Mrs. Padmini: Yes. Aman, pass the chips. The Risotto was terrible.

(They all laugh. It is not a polite society laugh. It is a loud, messy, human laugh.)

Mr. Nitin: (To Isha) You were right. Sarcasm was not invited. Vulnerability crashed the party.

Miss Isha: And it was the life of the party.

(Nitin smiles at her. He puts his phone away. He picks up a cup of cheap tea.)

(FADE TO BLACK)